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MyPillow rocked by claims of midnight Satinic Rituals
As if fending off a $5 million lawsuit wasn't enough, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell has come out fighting against new allegations of midnight shenanigans at his main manufacturing hub, posted by a former disgruntled HR Manager of his organization. According to recently fired employee Howie Duet (Toronto-born), the famous TV [more ...]
ArriveCan app swooped up by Musk
The Canadian boondoggle smartphone app ArriveCan has been gobbled up by Elon Musk, in his ongoing quest to acquire world domination. The 60 million dollar project, slammed recently by Canada's auditor general for its huge cost overruns, will be "magically transformed using the same success winning formulas we used for [more ...]
Global Worming “a hoax”, claims reknowned scientist
After a year travelling the globe studying the effects of climate change on soil layers, Nobel Prize winning scientist Dr. Bob Furappels has proclaimed that "all that talk about worms conspiring en mass to take over the world are just plain trash". In a press conference held at his lab [more ...]
Michael Bublé changes last name to “Bubbles”
In a move that is sure to dismay crooner fans everywhere, especially in Saskatoon, Michael Bublé has officially changed his last name to "Bubbles". According to a source close to the singer's broom closet, he has been toying with the idea for years, with focus groups trying out "Booblayover, Hooterlay, [more ...]
Poilievre tries jaywalking marathon to fire up courts
Desperate not to be drowned out by his right wing nemisis south of the border, Conservative second coming Pierre Poilievre held an all day jay walking marathon in Quebec City on Thursday, February sumpin, in an attempt to get RCMP handcuffs thrown on him and his ass hauled off to...
Hamilton councillors vote to reject affordable housing
Hamilton, Ontario councillors have rejected a plan to build 67 affordable housing units on city land to "save" a large parking lot (no shit, this is actually true, we can't make this shit up). The split 8-8 vote went right down party lines, with the drunks matching the sober votes...
165 new therapists recruited in historic Canada-Mexico immigration pact
A 2023 boost to Canada's mental health and physio sectors has brought 165 new therapists to Canada from Mexico, as part of a pact signed in late 2022 between the 2 federal governments. The agreement "ironically came about as a result of the DJ Trump's candidacy announcement in early 2015"...
Yellowknife to migrate to Mexico next winter
Yellowknife city council, in co-operation with the local Chamber of Commerce, has enacted a bold new plan to migrate the city lock, stock and barrel to Mexico for the winter months starting in late 2024. The mayor Tom Polrbeer, in announcing the ambitious project, said that "our GoFundMe campaign was...
