The Cactus is an irreverent look at Canadian and related news and topics, inspired by the amazingly satirical site The Onion. Nothing on this site should be considered factual, readable, or digestible in any way even if printed on a 3D food printer.
Articles contained within this website and on its social media accounts are completely fictitious. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the related story details are also fictitious. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses or events is entirely coincidental.
Photos accompanying articles are grabbed from a variety of free image sites and Wikipedia. All articles are written anonymously and under pen names, because it’s even crazier not to do so.
We hope you find something entertaining, and we’ll strive to continually update the site with new satire. So you can tell your dog and cats they can always count on fresh litter shreds in their box.