Irving shipyard discovers frigate blueprints were upside down

The shipyard handling Canada’s new navy frigate program has been stunned by a new Department of Defense audit that questioned why the shipyard was constructing the new boats “with their ass and propellors high up in the air”. Irving Shipyards CEO Ahab Pequod, in a hastily arranged news conference, told reporters “we honestly thought that’s the way the navy wanted them, with the ability to snorkel through the water like an inverted duck. Seemed like excellent camoflauge to me – after all, what Ruskie boat is ever gonna ID it as a frigate when it’s slinking through the water looking like a backwards Boeing 237.”

The company has since sent out emergency memos to all of its engineering departments, instructing them to “immediately rotate the blueprints 180 degrees. You know, so its keel is at the f**in bottom.” Construction has also been completely halted on the ships, while management tries to figure out how to flip the actual existing boat shells into place. “Costco has agreed to fly in a swat team familiar with rotisserie chicken operations in the mega-discount chain. We should be able to upsize the type of chicken machinery we’re using now, based on our best estimates. If only the frigates were a bit smaller – we already have ferry size rotisseries in aisle 9. Just need a forklift to grab it.”

The snafu is expected to add another $2million to the cost of the frigate program, which by the end of the project, will likely balloon to $312 megazillion.