New Study Links Regular Exercise to Endless Complaining, Severe Groaning

A new study released by the University of Toronto Faculty of Physical Fitness has shown a significant increase in the amount of complaining,  groaning  and overall bitching by people embarking in the recent viral Tiktok craze “100 Days to Better Body”. A study of 200 former couch potatoes and slugs revealed that 42% of the new fitness affecionadoes grumbled miserably after the first day of the prgram, that starts with “eat all the pies you can gorge on”. Of the males in that group, over half reported decreased interest in sex without pie crumbs, with another 20% saying even their wives were disgusted with them.

Almost all respondents in the study reported “loss of enjoyment of life, leg cramps, general bitchiness, and uncontrollable cat kicking urges”. One of the professors spearheading the study said they were surprised by the depth of negative results. “I mean, most Canadians are pretty laid back about just about everything. We thought that maybe there’d be SOME that would just chalk it up to beginner’s pain, and respond with a bunch of ‘eh’s”, said researcher Miath Isherting.

Meanwhile a similar study conducted by the University of Texas is set to be released next week. Results are expected to be much tamer, considering the migrants enrolled already had extensive running experience.