FAA orders Boeing to add rubber elastics to critical body panels

Hot off the heels of another debacle involving its line of Max jets, Boeing has been slapped with a new FAA directive forcing it to install elastic rubber bands as extra reinforcement in its emergency exit modules. The FAA order pointed out the “unacceptable lack of double checks in the Boeing’s assembly policies for the doors, which led to a catastrophic incident in January”. In response to the order, Boeing announced that it will “fully comply with the new order. Already, steno pools are foraging through their desks and pony tails for rubber bands (and paper clips, just in case), often working overtime to generate parts inventory as quickly as possible.”

The elastics will be wrapped around the exit door handles and bolt holes, providing “much needed redundancy”, according to FAA specs. “We’ve also mandated that the rubber elastics in the engines WON’T be repurposed for this new initiative. We still need those wound up for the engines to run.”