Hamilton, Ontario councillors have rejected a plan to build 67 affordable housing units on city land to “save” a large parking lot (no shit, this is actually true, we can’t make this shit up). The split 8-8 vote went right down party lines, with the drunks matching the sober votes 1 to 1. According to one of the politicians who voted against the idea, “parking lots are an endangered species. Global warming has flooded a bunch of them, and their mating rituals have been totally affected by the weird weather Ontario is now seeing. If we don’t do something quick, parking lot eggs will end up disappearing altogether, and we’ll have to start building those gawd awful parking garages right in the middle of downtown. Omg, they are a f**ing eyesore!”
Ontario Premier Doug Ford blasted the votes of the sober faction on X shortly after the council session, saying that “those damn EV driver scum just want to take us back in the dark ages when there weren’t no such thing as wonderful yellow parallel painted lines. How DARE they! How DARRRRE they!!!” Meanwhile, potholes in the rest of the city have started clamouring for equal protection, something local and provincial politicians are eager to tackle as a #1 priority.
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