Scientists now say Big Bang caused by exploding CB bagpipes

Scientists studying images from the James Webb Space Telescope have come to the startling conclusion that the “Big Bang”, long thought by cosmologists to be the origin of the universe, was actually caused by an “exploding Cape Breton set of bagpipes”, according lead NASA scientist Jim Meneecriketts. “JWT has definitively picked up images of Inverness tartans in the furthest reaches of the cosmos. We’ve traced these back to a kitchen party held New Years eve at Ashley MacIssac’s house, where wild reports regaled about a time machine drunkenly constructed of fizzing Keiths Ale bottles. 24 pack I think.”

Meenecrikets, er, Manycrikes, errr, MinnieMouse added that “some dam fool mistakenly set the time gauges to 14 billion years ago, instead of 1975 like the f**ing movie told him to. So Ashley’s pipes got sucked up in the time vortex, with him still playing and swagging beer, and the result – well, the f**in result was just ALL to predictable. It f**in blew up like a black hole at a CB wake!”

Leading cosmologists meanwhile theorized that the resulting explosion ended up strewing galaxies of stars across the universe, and a rapid expansion of space-time. Said Ashley MacIssac, after waking up from his hangover, “Jesus Mary Joseph, who the everlovin f***took off wid me pipes???”