Vancouver to import Newfie lots to tackle affordability crisis

City councilors in Vancouver have voted in a new resolution to tackle the ultra high land costs in the BC mecca, approving $30 million to truck land lots in from several rural Newfoundland communities. The measure, targetted to start up operations in the spring, is expected to help slash new home costs by more than 50%, and is being hailed by the mayor as “an absolute blueprint for every outrageously lot priced city in the country.” City planner John Eldridge explained that “we’ll be installing the Newfie lots over existing land, held up by 6 foot stilts so that the original lots can still be built on – either by constructing homes for midgets and dwarves – ooops, I mean, ‘little’ people’, or by sinking the basement down 30 feet so that the roof can be sloped into the lawn.”

“The neat thing about it, is that the original lot in Newfoundland can still be used for things like drying cod, burning boots, and other native activities I hear are common on that quaint island. It is an island, right? Oh good, phew!”

Researchers that developed the idea estimate that each imported land lot will cost between 100-150 cases of moosehead beer, or the equivalent return deposit value in empties. “We’re so f***in excited!”, exclaimed Vancouver Mayor Loonsberry.