The Winnipeg Jets NHL hockey franchise has announced a multi-million dollar partnership with Girl Guides of Canada to provide custom cookie confectionaries at its home and road games. With the teams season ticket base plummeting 27% over the past 3 years – from 13,000 to under 9,500 – the Jets’ general manager Marty McFly gushed that “this newly developed munchie, specially concocted to make each regular season game extra exciting, will supercharge our attendance figures and make the fan experience even more incredible!” McFly added that “the girl guides have tons of experience at pestering grown adults relentlessly for money, and making them feel absolutely shitty if they don’t hand over lots of couch change for a worthy cause. Or even us.”
Planned cookie flavors include Munchie 420 Galore, Nose Icing, and Dill Pickle. Testing of the prototypes is currently underway at at a local Friars convention.
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